Archive for the FUNNIES… Category

The Outhouse…

Posted in FUNNIES... on October 24, 2010 by Connor

Homeplace Outhouse

Outhouses were not too uncommon in Stoney Creek, Tennessee when I was growing up.  Not everyone had one, but there were plenty of them still standing and waiting for “emergencies”.  I doubt many people in the good ol’ USA today ever experienced the joys of the call of nature without indoor plumbing. We were actually lucky. We at least had running water in the kitchen, and by the time I was about 8 or 9 years old, we even had hot water! But the modern bathroom was a long time coming to our house in the country.  Oh, we had a room we called “the bathroom”. When my grandfather built the house we grew up in in 1932, he must have had big plans for indoor plumbing at some time in the future, because of this odd little room that we always referred to as the bathroom.  About the only resemblance it had to a real bathroom was it’s size. Small! Continue reading

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The Swamp Cabin…

Posted in FUNNIES... on September 15, 2010 by Connor

Growing Up On The Farm…

Life increased in interestingness for me at about the age of 10 or 12. That was when the Stover boys conned their dad into building a cabin for them in the swamp behind their home. I have no idea what they promised to get such a feat accomplished, but their dad always said that he “may have been drinking” when the event transpired. His answer sounded reasonable, as back then almost everyone “may have been drinking” at some time or another in Stoney Creek.

Stoney Creek, TN.

Continue reading

iPhones And Their Uses…

Posted in FUNNIES... on July 18, 2010 by Connor

I recently tried adjusting to an iPhone and have come to the conclusion that iPhones are about as useful and exciting as sticking your pencil into a glass of luke warm water.  Well, not really!  A glass of water normally will not incite one to become inventive at creating new words and phrases that rhyme with…  say…  “new ditch”,  or  “truck”, or things that sound eerily similar to  “you bucking witch”. So, coming to the conclusion that an old man should never buy anything that doesn’t have a wooden handle attached to it, I have decided to waste invest some time in deciphering what one could actually use an iPhone for in life.

Here are a few to get things started…

Hitler Not Happy With His iPhone

Continue reading

Tools And Their Real Uses…

Posted in FUNNIES... on June 27, 2010 by Connor

I came across this a few years back and thought it informative.

Enjoy!

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your drink across the room, splattering it against that freshly-stained heirloom piece that was drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers.

CORDLESS  DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you or the battery goes dead.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to further round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. Continue reading

Very Funny YouTube Video On Farming…

Posted in FUNNIES... on June 13, 2010 by Connor

Rated “R” By Me Due To Some Language!

… walked into a bar

Posted in FUNNIES... on May 14, 2010 by Connor

A man walks into a bar wearing jumper cables around his neck and orders a beer.  The bar tender looks him over suspiciously and finally says “OK. I’ll give you the beer, but don’t try to start anything!”.

Later…

Connor

On The Lighter Side…

Posted in FUNNIES... on May 14, 2010 by Connor

Several men were lost at sea floating around in a boat. Things were getting desperate so they thought they might ought to pray for some help.  They asked one old man in the boat if he would pray for them, and he replied he didn’t know much about it, but he would give it a try.  He thus started praying:

“Oh Lord, we’re starving down here. Please send us a barrel of potatoes!”

Pauses…  “and Lord, send us a barrel of corn!”

Pauses…  one more thing Lord, send us a barrel of pepper…

…no, wait a minute Lord. That’d be too much pepper!”

Later…

Connor